Failure
by Shadowfax220
Summary: No Rest For The Wicked left Sam in tears holding his brother's body. How he and Bobby care for Dean and lay him to rest are continued here. Warning: Character Death but really, I had nothing to do with that!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did this never would have happened. I guess that's why Kripke is the master of our hearts._

**Failure**

Sam didn't know how long he'd been sitting on the blood soaked wooden floorboards as he held Dean's torn body in his arms. Time no longer had the same meaning. His brother was gone. He was in hell because Sam could not save him. He had made his brother a promise. He'd promised to get him out of the deal, promised to keep him out of hell. He had failed and Dean was gone. Tears slid down his cheeks and dripped onto his brother. He had failed to save him, just like he'd failed to save Jess and his father.

Sam heard someone come up behind him and he prayed it was one of the demons, prayed for a knife in the back or bullet though the brain. He prayed for an ending that would stop the meaningless existence of his life. A life that had gotten everyone he ever loved killed.

As usual, his prayer was not answered. Instead he heard the woman they'd sent to the basement. One of the three people they had saved. "Oh my God," she gasped quietly.

As the tears spilled from his eyes, Sam wondered why he was allowed to save these people but not his brother, not his family. Why would God think their lives were more important then Dean's? Why?

She was speaking to him saying something about calling for an ambulance, calling for help. He felt her hand on his shoulder attempting to comfort him and he felt her jerk it away at the deep rumble that came from him. He didn't even realize he'd made a sound.

Her husband came into the room. "Jesus," he said quietly.

Sam closed his eyes trying to block out their voices, their presence.

"Daddy…" the little girl cried.

Sam couldn't take it anymore. He stood up cradling his brothers' lifeless body in his arms. He carried him to the front door. The woman got their ahead of him. "Where are you taking him?" she asked opening the door. He ignored her and stepped out onto the front porch.

He saw Bobby coming up the walk way, saw him pale at the sight of Dean's torn and bloody body. He saw the tears fill the older hunters' eyes and spill over. "Take us home, Bobby," was all Sam could say. It was the only thing to say.

Bobby walked up the steps and put a hand on Sam's shoulder as silent tears streaked down his face. "I'm sorry Sam," he told. "I wish…" His hand fell from Sam and his head dropped and Sam knew, he wished the same thing.

Bobby led him down the steps and to the impala. He grabbed a blanket from the trunk. "We need to wrap him up," he told Sam.

"No," Sam told him impassively unwilling to release his brother even for a few minutes.

"Sam," Bobby implored. "Dean wouldn't want blood on the seats."

A hint of a smile crossed Sam's face as he realized Bobby was right. Dean's words came back to him. "Take care of my wheels". Sam nodded. Together they wrapped Dean in the warmth of the grey blanket before Sam climbed into the back seat and sat with Dean's body cradled in his arms.

Sitting in the drivers seat Bobby started the car, heard the roar of the engine and the blare of the music. He reached over to turn radio off.

"Don't," Sam told him. Bobby looked back at Sam through the rear view mirror. It was a bitter thing to swallow but he new Sam was right. He nodded, put the car in gear and drove off into the night.

Sam held Dean tighter, cradling him closer as tears streamed anew from his eyes. He didn't notice he was rocking his brother to the tune of the music. He didn't even realize he was humming along as AC/DC's Highway to Hell blared from the speakers.

**A/N: The scene in the episode broke my heart. This story running through my head broke it again. I was crying when I proof read this one so if I missed any mistakes sorry about that. I'll check it again later. Hopefully now that it's on paper I can recover from it. Hopefully it broke your heart, just as it broke mine.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Sadly Sam and Dean don't belong to me. If they did I'm willing to bet that you know exactly what I'd be doing with them!_

**Funeral Pyre**

**_A/N - I thought this story was done, but my muse decided that it was not._**

Sam cradled Dean's still form against his chest as he walked stoically to the hidden grove in the back forty of Bobby's place. His thoughts turned to the last time he had done this. To the heart wrenching day that his brother had died after the Trickster had taken him out of the time loop. Bobby had followed him then just as he did now. The only difference is that Bobby has no recollection of that event ever occurring.

He followed the narrow trail between the steep rocky cliffs until they opened into a small oasis. The basin was picturesque with several rows of trees lining the steep cliff walls. A narrow waterfall that led down to a small clear pond occupied the far end of the basin.

Sam carried his brother to the altar Bobby had erected a long time ago and, just as he had the last time, he set his brother's form down silently on the white cloth that was draped across it. He knelt at the altar lifting his brother's cold hand in his, cupping it between his own. He bent his head down and ran his cheek along Dean's fingers as he gazed up at his brother's face.

Dean's eyes had opened again and Sam couldn't help but stare into them wishing for some indication of life. Some sign that this was all a big mistake, that his brother was alive. His eyes filled with tears that slowly made their way down his cheeks and dripped onto his brother. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I… Oh God, Dean… What am I supposed to do now? How do I save you? How do I get you back?"

A warm hand settled on his shoulder. "Sam," Bobby said. "We'll do everything we can. I promise."

Sam turned to Bobby and said, "I don't know if I can do this again Bobby. I don't know if I can watch him…" He turned just enough for his gaze to catch the funeral Pyre that Bobby kept prepared here in what the hunting community had taken to calling "The Sanctuary".

Bobby, knowing nothing of the last time Sam had been forced to burn his brother's body thought he was referring to his father's funeral pyre. "It's what he wanted," Bobby told Sam as a single tear slipped past his guard and trailed down his cheek. "He wanted to be by his father."

Sam turned to look at the cliff wall that stood closest to the alter. It was lined with small glass covered compartments, each with a metal plaque on it. His eyes tracked immediately to the place that held his fathers' ashes and two the two places just below it that lay, for the moment, empty. "I know Bobby, I just…" he faltered. "God this is so…" Sam couldn't finish. "I want him back," he whispered laying his head down on his brothers' shoulder as tears streamed unchecked down his cheeks. "I just want him back."

There was nothing he could say to that so Bobby just stood there his hand resting on Sam's shoulder as the only surviving member of the Winchester family shook with sobs at the loss of his brother.

Sam had no idea how much time had passed as he knelt and held his brother on the altar but the sun was already on its way towards setting when he finally stood and turned to Bobby. "Will you…" he said indicating the pyre.

"Yeah," he told Sam. "I'll get it ready. You take care of him."

Sam prepared his brother. He removed the dark blood stained blanket that Dean had been wrapped in for the drive to Bobby's Place. He removed the torn and bloody clothes and set them aside for Bobby to add to the fire. Removing his own jacket and shirt and stripping down to his boxers Sam lifted his brother and carried him to the pond. He walked in ignoring the frigid temperature of the water and proceeded to clean the blood and grime from brothers' body.

It was worse this time, he decided. The wounds on his brothers' body were horrifying to look at even though he'd already seen them, even though he'd seen them being inflicted. Somehow, they seemed so raw, so… He swallowed thickly to avoid the bile that tried to climb up his throat.

The last time his brother had died it was one single gunshot, a small hole in the center of his chest that Sam could cover with two fingers. This time… "Oh God, Dean," he told his silent brother again. "I'm sorry."

Bobby had finished stacking the wood around the iron funeral pyre by the time Sam carried Dean out of the water. He stood at the altar with a towel and watched as Sam used it, not on himself, but on his brother. Tenderly Sam dried his brother, then dressed him in the clothes that Bobby had pulled from the pack he'd brought.

Sam smiled as he pulled the shirt over Dean's head and put it on him. Dean would approve. It was his favorite Metallica shirt and his favorite pair of jeans followed.

"Sam," Bobby said quietly. "You need to get dressed. I can finish getting him ready." Sam just looked at Bobby and the older hunter put both hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying," he continued. "I know Dean wouldn't want you getting sick because of…" his voice trailed off at the younger man's glare.

Once Bobby grew silent Sam turned back to Dean's body. He placed his brother's hands on his chest then reached up and placed his palm on Dean's eyes and closed them before he wrapped his brother in the white cloth of the altar leaving his face free of the cloth because he couldn't bare to cover it just yet.

Only when he was done and his brother's body prepared did he take care of his own needs. Getting dressed as quickly as he could he knelt again at the altar. The sun had nearly set but a single streak of light illuminated the two of them as Sam reached out and put one hand on Dean's chest and the other running through his short damp hair.

Sam knew what to expect, he knew they'd come. They came the last time too. It didn't make it any easier to know what they would say. To know each word they would speak. Ellen's soft words of comfort and Jo's choked sobs were things he'd heard before. Hunters he had never met came to The Sanctuary to pay their respects. It didn't surprise him at all to see Cassie or Sarah, but he was numb to everything, not hearing anything they said as one by one they filed past the altar and paid their last respects to his brother. He didn't even wonder how they knew.

He knelt at the altar, silent, as each of them paused and spoke. Even after the last of them had passed the altar Sam remained on his knee's at his brother's side. He didn't hear the small murmurs as they spoke among themselves, sharing stories of his brother and how he'd saved them or hunted with them. It was Missouri that knelt with him and placed her hand on his arm. "It's time Sam," she said.

For the first time since he'd taken his place at Dean's altar Sam looked up and around at the people who had gathered. They were all here, Diana Ballard the cop from Baltimore, Amanda Walker, the flight attendant, The Reverend Sorensen and his daughter Lori, Jerry Panowski and Tamara whose husband was killed during the battle with the seven deadly sins. So many of the people that Dean had saved so many hunters they had encountered and many they hadn't. Hundreds of people had come and all of them stood silent now watching Sam. Waiting for what was to come.

Sam rose, he leaned down and kissed his brother on the forehead then carefully, almost reverently he finished wrapping him in the white burial cloth, covering his face this time. Once he was done Sam lifted his brother's body and carried him to the funeral pyre.

The crowd parted as he walked and when he reached the pyre, with Bobby's help, he lifted his brother onto the metal frame and arranged him as comfortably as possible.

It was Missouri that brought him the torch, handing it to him silently then stepping back. Bobby pulled out a container of salt and opened it. "Don't," Sam told him.

"Sam…" Bobby said.

"I said no," Sam hissed at the older hunter.

"Alright," Bobby told him with a sigh.

Sam took one last long look at his brother's cloth covered body then walked around the pyre lighting the wood that Bobby had placed under it. He stood as close as the flames would allow, as far from the other people gathered around the fire as he could.

He nearly choked on the smell of burning flesh and fresh tears streaked down his cheeks as he watched his brother's body burn, never taking his eyes from the burning form. "I won't say goodbye, Dean," he whispered to his brother. "Because this isn't goodbye. I'm going to get you back even if I have to go back to Wyoming and storm that hells gate to do it. I won't let them keep you. I won't."

The sun was creeping up along the rim of the basin. The mourners had all gone, drifting away one or two at a time until it was just Sam left in the small valley. Even Bobby had left to give him time alone. Mechanically he gathered the ashes from the fire and put them into the urn he had chosen for his brother.

He placed Dean's urn in one of the compartments beneath his father then positioned the plate glass over the opening and screwed it in place. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the metal plate he had made. It was a very simple plaque.

**Dean Winchester  
**_Son of John Winchester  
Hero of many, known by few, treasured by one_

Bobby returned as Sam was setting it in place. He remained silent but Sam knew he was there. When he was finished Sam wiped the plaque off with his sleeve making sure it could be read then turned to Bobby. "Let's go," he said quietly.

Together they left The Sanctuary and walked up the path to Bobby's house. "We've got work to do," he told the older hunter his voice hard. "Let's go get my brother back." Sam smiled grimly. He would find a way to bring Dean back.

**A/N: I wasn't sure if I should add this story as a new chapter to this story or make it a short stand alone story. In the end I decided this was a good fit for it. I hope you enjoyed it. Please Review and let me know how I did.**


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